Apparently, thanks to the genius’ at www.cracked.com, there are some homeless guys out there making everybody else look like panzies.  I have to agree – they’ve all done more than me. Although I smell nice and have pretty toes. A true toss up for some people.

Cracked’s list breaks out the top 5. I won’t keep you in suspense so keep reading. Or you can check out the full article here by Ian Forte.

#5 The Emporer, Abraham Norton

“Formerly a businessman who lost every penny he had and apparently went over the edge as a result, Norton proclaimed himself “His Imperial Majesty Emperor Norton I.” He declared that he was the Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico back in 1859. He reigned for over 20 years, walking the streets of San Francisco in full military uniform on a daily basis.”

According to the article he was beloved by the entire community! 30,000 people attended his funeral. He is now officially my favorite bat shit crazy homeless guy. (It’s a tough list to get on.)

Here’s the Wikipedia article on him if you want more info. I just can’t wait for the movie.

#4 The Superhero, Stanford Washburn

“Standford Washburn was sitting in an Nevada alley, drinking with some transient buddies as people of that type tend to do. Suddenly a Cadillac plowed into a 9-year-old girl in front of them, pinning her underneath it. Washburn and a couple of others flew into action, running to the 5,000 pound car and lifting it off of the girl, saving her life. The men then humbly returned to their Thunderbird, shaming the rest of the pedestrians on the street who had homes, jobs and probably fresh pantloads of shit.”

That pretty much sums it up. Character is shown in these events. People that are all talk can shut the f**k up cause when something like this happens, your brain tends to shut down and go into panic mode. Only people with incredible resolve (or no fear) act right away. This dude’s like Hancock. Here’s a more in depth article about Stanford Washburn and the accident.

le#3 The Politian, Jesus White

Jesus White, a homeless man from Philadelphia, ran as Mayor of Philadelphia in 2007. First, he managed to get the 2,000 signatures needed to qualify then managed to raise money to print posters and flyers. Dude had a job but was officially homless. He actually got 418 votes!

This guy had an idea and went after it with everything he had. It takes courage and tencity to have gotten those 2,000 signatures. Unfortunately, he died a year later in Philidelphia.

#2 The Preacher, Vincent Pannizzo

“Known on the streets as the “Preacherman,” Pannizzo turns up on that corner every night, regardless of the weather, and draws a crowd of 50 or so. The homeless, drug dealers, passers-by, all stop to listen to his shockingly lucid and apparently downright inspirational sermons”

“Unlike the average crazy street preacher, Pannizzo, a former doctoral student, seems to be entirely sane, doesn’t yell fire and brimstone, and keeps his pants firmly affixed.

He abandoned his career several years ago and made the conscious decision to live on the streets and not only preach the gospel, but hand out food and whatever money he picks up from doing odd jobs during the day.”

You can listen to a podcast of his sermon here.

#1 The Author, Bruce Goldwell

“While living on the streets (for 5 years) and presumably squatting over sewer grates to relieve himself, Goldwell opted not to rant and yell obscenities at the moon like some of his peers, but instead put pen to paper and produce a fantasy novel. Oh, and he got it published.”  Now he teaches the Law of Attraction and continues to write and get published. Here’s his website. Safe to say he’s no longer homeless.

Dude, I have no friggin’ excuse now! Neither do you so stop reading this and start writing!

So I have no memory of how I came across this site. I guess it’s pretty popular – maybe a testament to me not getting out much. Check it out anyway. It’ll be the best 2 hours of time you ever wasted.

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